Advice to new pipe-smokers on selecting a pipe.

My first good pipe: A Sasiene Viscount Lascelles Bent BilliardThe longer someone is in the world of pipes, the more complicated the considerations seem, especially when it comes to selecting a good pipe. So, what is the person new to pipe-smoking to do? How does one successfully navigate the correct acquisition of pipe and tobacco in order to determine whether one might actually enjoy pipe-smoking?

If you are new to pipe smoking, one challenge you face is that you probably don’t want to spend a large sum of money for a pipe when you don’t know whether or not you will enjoy pipe-smoking. This is perfectly understandable. If you decide you dislike pipe smoking, the last thing you want in your bedside table drawer is an expensive souvenir from your regrettable adventure.

If you don’t have a good friend, father, uncle, or grandfather who is willing to bestow a reliable pipe upon you for your experimentation, you must acquire a pipe on your own. This probably means 
buying one. Here’s the problem: it will be difficult to choose an inexpensive briar pipe that will reliably deliver good flavor or a good draw.

There are five attributes that combine to produce a serviceable briar pipe which is a pipe that will yield a good quality, if not great, smoke. Keep in mind that these are basic attributes and would not be applied to a collector-quality or fine artisan-made briar pipe. Just meeting these standards usually involves higher production costs than the price for which a typical inexpensive briar pipe might sell.

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Advice to New Pipe Smokers on Choosing Tobacco

Hand colored Lithograph of Tobacco Grower, © 2013 Neill Archer Roan, all rights reservedIt is axiomatic in the pipe world that new pipe smokers begin by smoking aromatics, then graduate to English blends, and finally move into the realm of straight Virginias and Virginia-Periques (VaPers). Of course not everyone begins with  aromatics, but many pipe smokers do. For some reason, light aromatics seem to taste better to new pipe smokers then do other blends.

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You can't smoke Créme Brûlée.

The Greenhorn’s Plight

Pity the poor greenhorn. They come in many stripes. When I was a kid growing up in Wyoming, my friends and I clutched our stomachs–overcome by hilarity–while watching dudes’ first encounters with horses. I will never forget the time I watched one poor fellow put the wrong foot in a stirrup, swing up, then kick his long-suffering horse square in the head with his other foot. The horse was not amused, but we were.

These days I am more sympathetic to the greenhorn’s plight. The aspiring pipe-smoker faces many barriers to success, the biggest of which is that many tobacconists’ sales people know little about pipes or pipe tobaccos and are unable to be of much help. Most of these people have concentrated on learning about cigars, not pipes, because cigars are where the money is in the retail tobacco business. Often, these sales people may never even have smoked a pipe, themselves.

So, what an aspiring pipe-smoker will receive in advice or guidance reflects assumptions that are often far from what’s true and real about pipe smoking. Where this ignorance really impacts new pipe smokers is in helping them choose pipes and pipe tobaccos that they might enjoy.

Without guidance, those who are new to pipe smoking may easily make  counterproductive, even humiliating choices.  This post is intended to alleviate the situation by offering some guidance on the nuts and bolts of becoming a pipe smoker.

We are our own worst enemies.

Typically, men have a tough time admitting ignorance on a topic about which they have interest. This is particularly true when it comes to “manly” pursuits like drinking and smoking where tastes are gradually acquired. We feel like we’re supposed to know about these things. None of us want to look like greenhorns, especially to our friends. So, rather than owning up to our callow inexperience, we gut it out and learn through doing. This can be a tough road when it comes to either smoking or drinking. As a result, most men I know–myself included–have repeatedly endured worshipping the porcelain god during our rites of passage.

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Finding your favorite shape.

When one considers the diversity of pipe shapes available to the pipe smoker, it’s a bit overwhelming. There are well over a hundred classic pipe shapes, alone. And there are seemingly endless variations on and interpretations of classic shapes that, in some cases, have supplanted the original versions; they are so popular.

Consider the simple billiard. There are chubby billiards, long-stemmed billiards, nosewarmer billiards, classic LB billiards, eighth-bent billiards, quarter-bent billiards, full-bent billiards, long-shanked billiards, bamboo versions of many of the above, saddle-stemmed billiards, tapered stem billiards, stacked billiards, bamboo-stacked billiards, Bing billiards, group 2 billiards, magnum billiards, and on and on and on.

Then, there are the signature shapes, finishes, bowl shapes, varying stem materials, decorative treatments, shank rings, etc., that various makers use to put their personal aesthetic stamp on the shape.

Even factories design and produce idiosyncratically singular versions of a shape. A Comoy zulu differs from its Dunhill, GBD, BBB, Peterson, and Kaywoodie cousins in shank length, bowl cant, stem taper, size, bowl flare, and chamber dimensions. These are all differences that make a difference.

It makes the head swim. So, given the profusion of shape choices and variation available, how do we find what suits us best? How do we choose? How do we find that shape that delights us?

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